After looking back over 30 years of ministry, I can summarize my advice to young ministers and their wives by asking three questions:
- “Does it really matter what color the room is painted?”
God has called you to minister and reach souls for Him. He’s blessed you with specific talents and gifts to fulfill this calling, but if you’re too busy debating about less significant details of church life, such as what color to paint a wall, you’ll not be fulfilling your most high calling. Seriously, the human body only has a certain amount of “get up and go,” and if you are so busy your “get up and go has got up and gone,” you’ll be too exhausted to accomplish your true calling with precision, and you’ll not have adequate time for your family. You don’t have to have your hands in everything. Place qualified church members in positions where their talents and gifts will shine, then turn them loose and let them shine.
- Whose children are they anyway?”
You’ve all heard stories about the infamous “preacher’s kid” who is the church teenage nightmare. When we moved to our last church all four of our kids were in—or soon to be in—the youth department. Two years after moving there, Jerry Williams, our youth minister, pulled me aside to confess that he had been terrified when he heard we had four teenagers due to the many horror stories he’s heard told through the years. He explained that our teens were nothing like he had expected. They were all well-behaved, great, godly teens. “What’s your secret?” he asked. “Why are your kids so awesome?” My answer was simple. Our kids have always been OUR kids. They weren’t the church’s kids, nor the “preacher’s kids.” They are ours. That made them our priority. We worked hard to lead them to a saving faith in Christ at an early age, and then we built upon that faith. We encouraged them to pray and read their Bibles daily, even swooping so low as to bribe them to have a daily quiet time by awarding them with money each time they completed reading their Bibles through (Genesis to Revelation). As they grew, they came to believe that their actions represented their faith and the God they served. With that, everything else fell into place.
- “Why leave the praying up to others?”
As a minister or a minister’s wife, it is easy to rest in the fact that a whole multitude of godly church members are praying for your spouse. In a world that thrives on devouring the godly, this can give a false sense of security. Yes, church members do pray for you both, but no one knows how to pray for your spouse better than you do. You know each other’s shortcoming better than anyone, meaning your prayers are too important to be neglected.
- Do you Serve in Ministry? (hillsbiblechurch.org)
- What Every “To Be” Minister’s Wife Should Know (rockiesuefordham.wordpress.com)
- Why I…Part 1: Love My Job (kevinwroe.wordpress.com)